Where does white skin come from?
THE idea that early humans became fair-skinned as they migrated north out of Africa so they could make enough vitamin D to stay healthy has been questioned again, reopening a debate that many think is settled.
Aug 27 2009
Why are there white people?
Aug 15 2009
A new solution to the problem of bovine flatulence
Mars’ environment destroys methane very quickly
Methane gas on Mars may be destroyed 600 times faster than it is on Earth, and possibly in as little as one hour, new calculations suggest. If so, whatever process is responsible for the destruction may be wiping out other organic molecules, which are necessary for life as we know it.
I expect we’d better ship the dairy industry to Mars.
Aug 08 2009
Concealed Weapon. REALLY Concealed.
It’s pretty obvious to me that Texas sheriff deputies just aren’t paid enough to do this kind of work.
An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.
Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.
The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.
At least no one will have to oil the gun.
Aug 06 2009
Extreme Sports?!? Holyfield to Box Horse
Aug 02 2009
The Beer Summit Protocol
(NOTE: All beers mentioned in this blog are actual brand names.)
As everyone knows the White House just concluded the so-called Beer Summit. The Acting Chief of Protocol Laura B. Wills, must have had her hands full last week in preparation for such an austere Presidential event. Just the selection of the correct beer alone have been pretty tricky business. I’m sure Chief Wills had to summon all of her considerable suds-selection experience in order to pull this one off.
I think one of the biggest challenges would be in selecting beers with an appropriate name, given the seriousness of the occasion (a White House Summit) and the sensitive subject matter (racism). Just a cursory investigation into the world of beer and breweries reveals there are literally hundreds of beer names in the world, running the gamut from mundane to clever to rude. But not just any beer will do and I’m certain the selection process was handled with great care, since so much was at stake. For example, imagine what kind of message would be sent if the President greeted Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley while holding a frosty cold can of Arrogant Bastard Beer. Not good, (Though I wouldn’t put it past someone like Hugo Chavez to stock up on cases of The Ugly American the next time Obama stops in for a Western Hemisphere Summit). Other beer names are just so outrageous they were probably never considered. There is just no place at a White House beer summit for Santa’s Butt Porter or Seriously Bad Elf, (Say..that reminds me…Whatever became of Robert B. Reich?).
Since so many beers are identified by their color, this presents serious potential for offending someone on the basis of their race. Given the fact the entire affair has been racially charged one would think that any light or dark beer would have to be removed from consideration. Yet the President apparently drank a Bud Lite – and he is to be commended for such a significant demonstration of magnanimity. Furthermore any beer with a color in its title would have to be carefully considered, especially if it is a color used in describing certain races. So Red Kite, Red Label, Red Rooster, and Red Ass Ale are out – wouldn’t want to offend any American Indians. Likewise say good bye to Amber Bitter, Yellow Belly and Yellowstone Pale Ale in order to avoid any Asian pejoratives. Red Neck beer is also disqualified for it’s own reasons though it’s inclusion would certainly have been tempting to Obama had any of the guests been Republicans. Sgt. Crowley maneuvered gracefully to a solution, selecting Blue Moon, (I can’t help but secretly wonder if this was a subtle, silent fist-pump to the men and women in blue) but only time will tell how this move will be received in the Smurf community.
With P.E.T.A. always lurking in the background I figure any beer mentioning animals would be off-limits. This eliminates quite a few; Moosehead, Moose Drool, Cobra, Dog’s Bollocks, Elephant, Fat Weasel, Golden Eagle, Lion, Snowgoose, Old Speckled Hen, Sick Duck, and Pig’s Eye just to name a few.
We know the Second Amendment is not popular with the current crowd in Washington so I’m fairly certain Colt 45 was ruled out. For similar reasons relating to gun violence Valley Forge, Veterans, and Old Chicago were also probably put on the Do-Not-Serve list.
There are a couple of beer names that I thought would surely show up at a beer summit hosted by Obama. What better message for him to send than to have everyone hoist a Robin Hood. If ever there was a man who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor…. The other brand is 1984 Golden Choice simply because the Orwellian similarities are so profound.
Let’s face it, the choice of beer is fraught with potential peril. The name must be politically correct, so naturally I assumed the White House would be serving PC beer. That’s right, there is a PC beer. It gets better – the initials stand for “President’s Choice”. Wow! talk about your two-for-one acronym!!! It seemed like a sure thing until I discovered PC is brewed by Whitewater Brewing Co. Disqualified based on color. I really feel for this company too. If they had decided to pick a more politically correct name, it might have created other problems. I mean, who would buy a beer brewed by the Brownwater Brewing Co.?
Perhaps the biggest surprise came from Professor Gates who consumed a Sam Adams Light. That is a double faux pas, first for the aforementioned “light” connotation. But even more important than that is the name, Samuel Adams. Yes he was a brewer back in the day. But more significant is the fact that he was white, he was a signer of the Declaration of Independence and an unabashed patriot. He is partially responsible for the creation of this country and it’s most cherished founding documents. I thought Gates would gag if he drank a beer named after someone like that! I guess it just goes to show you how all those Harvard alums stick together through thick and thin.
This blog entry is silly – intentionally so. But sadly no less silly than some of the claims that are made and things that are said in the name of racial diversity in this country almost every day. Maybe if enough of us actually spoke up and called them silly it would help us put the nonsense behind us. We will never get past the issue of race and racism as long as we are continue our obsession with color coding everyone and everything.
Finally I must acknowledge Vice President Joe Biden, who drank a non-alcoholic beer called Buckler. There’s not much to say here except that drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like kissing your sister.
Jul 31 2009
With the right glasses, maybe you could think faster
It would seem that your perception of time may be affected by the wearing of glasses that shift your visual perceptions left or right. So says a new study.
Next time you’re stuck in a never-ending meeting, speed up time – or at least your perception of it – by wearing a pair of glasses that shift your vision to the right.
Prismatic glasses that adjust vision 10 degrees to the left experience just the opposite effect, slowing perception of time, claims a new study recently published online in Psychological Science (DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02390.x).
In the study, volunteers first wore prismatic lenses while they pointed to a pen in their periphery over and over again. This prompted their brains to adjust accordingly, shifting their world view to the right or left – the opposite direction of the lens shift.
Afterward, the volunteers performed a simple task in which they watched a blue square flash onto a computer screen. Participants were told to press the space bar, which made a red square appear, and to keep the red square on the screen for the same amount of time as the blue square had appeared, anywhere between 1.6 and 2.4 seconds.
People whose vision was shifted to the right overestimated short intervals by 113 milliseconds on average, while those whose world moved left tended to underestimate time by 131 milliseconds on average. They showed the same biases in a task in which the researchers told them to estimate half the duration of the blue square.
Led by Francesca Frassinetti at the University of Bologna, Italy, the study adds to growing evidence that our brains represent time and space similarly. Patients with brain damage that causes them to ignore part of their visual field have trouble estimating time. The study also adds support to the idea that we think of increasing durations of time as moving right to left.
Maybe that’s why we always find ourselves wanting more when conservative speakers are done, but we can’t wait for the end when liberals are just warming up. I always did have the impression that lefties couldn’t quite keep up with the rest of us, intellectually. Maybe we should just change their glasses. While we’re at it, let’s remove the automatic rose-colored tint that appears whenever they’re reading about possible new government programs.
Jun 19 2009
Confessions of a green-car driver
I admit it. I own a Prius. It has 130,000 miles, and is humming along nicely. The three hamsters, the flashlight battery, and the lawnmower engine that make it go are still doing their jobs.
Even though I am ideologically opposed to the entire concept of car pool lanes, I drive in them. I got my sticker for $8, back when they were still available. The car does produce remarkably low emissions. I have heard tales of depressed liberals in Philadelphia trying to commit suicide by running the car in a closed garage, and waking up in the morning with a bad headache…. which was probably no worse than their typical hangover from a night of carousing with other lefty cheese-steak eaters.
One of my favorite things is that, in parking lots at slow speed, the gas engine shuts off, and it’s quieter than a golf cart as I sneak up on hapless searchers for lost cars. You pull up to about two feet behind someone who doesn’t see you, or hear you, and honk the horn. It’s great. Keep your windows rolled up and the doors locked, though.
It hurts my feelings, a little, when Rush bashes my car. Has he ever been in one? They’re not so bad, and all Prius drivers are not preening, self-righteous prigs…. just most of them.
You can talk to a Prius, and it will respond, after a fashion. It knows a few hundred voice commands… more than I can remember. Once, when I had just pushed the “talk” button to ask the car to find the closest Mexican restaurant for me, my wife coughed. The car immediately said, “Now displaying hospital icons on the navigation system.” A car with a sense of humor. What’s next? A car that does psychotherapy?
It bugs me when people assume I’m a lefty because I drive a Prius. I see all the bumper stickers on Prii (the proper plural form of Prius, according to one user group — I actually saw another Prius driver sniff disdainfully when I referred to “Priuses”).
“ECOMOM”
“I love solar power and I vote.”
“Obama-Biden 2008”
“No War For Oil” (Did we bring any of the oil home?)
“Keep Abortion Safe and Legal” (safe for WHO?)
“Visualize world peace” (I do, often… it’s just that there are some people missing from the visualization — which may be why it’s so peaceful)
I have thought about a few more bumper stickers that I think I might like more:
“No War for Electrons!”
“Save the gay baby internal combustion engines!”
“Don’t blame me, I voted for McCain”
“My other car is a Volvo… or used to be”
“Get a Prius, gas hog!”
“Save the BORG!”
For awhile, I displayed a US flag in the rear window. I noticed other Prius drivers giving me disapproving glances, and occasional rude gestures, en passant. Patriotism is just so…. twentieth century.
Historically, I seem to have a problem choosing politically appropriate cars. For years, I had two Volvos…. the preferred transportation of the New England Yuppie Liberal. And now I have this poster-car for global warming amelioration. I think I want my next vehicle to be the preferred mode of transportation for all eco-activists who really care about the environment — a Gulfstream V, luxury edition, complete with private pilot.
I suspect the Prius produces all kinds of mysterious radiation. I wonder if I could cause fruit flies to mutate just by driving around with them for awhile in a jar. Have you ever driven a car in which the radio static goes up when you step on the brakes? When I pull up next to people at stop lights, I see them lunge for their radios, not knowing I’m the cause of the static. I once set my key chain down on top of the electric motor while checking the oil. The USB flashdrive on the key chain was erased, more or less.
And here I used to hate truckers with CB radios messing up my radio reception.
Maybe you become that which you hate.
I observe that people in older pickups and SUVs sneer at me when I drive into the gas station. It’s as if they think I represent all the things they disdain in life, from small cars to liberals. I pump the gas as fast as possible, and slink back into my car without meeting their eyes, fearing their judgment.
I take secret comfort in the fact that the Prius is less eco-friendly, overall, than the Hummer. A man should leave his mark on the world.
Tomorrow, as I blow by you in the car pool lane at 84 MPH, uphill (those hamsters are STRONG), remember, I’m doing my bit for Al Gore, Savior of Earth, even if he is an ignorant jerk, while your emissions are bringing us a little closer to species extinction (sorry, I was just auditioning for the Huffington Post). I meant specious extinction.
Proves I’m open minded.
Jun 18 2009
You can’t make this stuff up
PETA Condemns Obama Fly-Swatting Incident
The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he’s bedeviled by a fly in the White House.
PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.
“We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals,” PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. “We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.”
During an interview for CNBC at the White House on Tuesday, a fly intruded on Obama’s conversation with correspondent John Harwood.
“Get out of here,” the president told the pesky insect. When it didn’t, he waited for the fly to settle, put his hand up and then smacked it dead.
“Now, where were we?” Obama asked Harwood. Then he added: “That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it? I got the sucker.”
Friedrich said that PETA was pleased with Obama’s voting record in the Senate on behalf of animal rights and noted that he has been outspoken against animal abuses.
Still, “swatting a fly on TV indicates he’s not perfect,” Friedrich said, “and we’re happy to say that we wish he hadn’t.”
Deputy press secretary Josh Earnest said the White House has no comment on the matter.
Jun 16 2009
Machines watching with gimlet eyes
Security officials are exploring the use of computer processed cameras to spot suspicious behavior and refer it to humans for verification. They are Asking a Machine to Spot Threats Human Eyes Miss
Using a mock-up of an Airbus, the researchers tested camera systems that would identify threats inside passenger planes. Some of the cameras on board, Ferryman said, focused on a passenger’s face and upper torso, looking for telltale signs that someone may be up to no good _ heavy sweating, for instance.
Hmmm… I see lots of heavy sweating every time I give a final exam. I knew some of those guys were up to no good. Of course, some of them may think I’m a terrorist.
As time goes on, I think we’re heading for the world predicted by David Brin in Earth. Pretty much everybody will soon be carrying around video cameras on their phones, pdas and handheld video games, and pretty much every business, home, street light and power pole will have a video camera connected to a computer somewhere that is deciding whether to alert humans to review some footage (a term which itself will continue to exist for some time, but soon no one will remember where it came from).
Stop light cameras are just the beginning. Everyone will be watching everyone, all the time.
I think there will be a whole new line of “stealth clothing,” which will be something that reflects light in ways difficult for computers to process. Lots of folks will start wearing fedoras scrunched down to obscure their faces, and bizarrely glittery and deceptive clothing. Of course, we see that at the Oscars every year. Look for lines of facial makeup that obscure video pickup… think glitter on steroids, producing images that the human eye can process, but are hard for computers to identify. It’ll give Victoria’s Secret a whole new meaning.
And we haven’t even talked about satellite surveillance yet. It won’t be long before every country with a little excess change will have its own satellites, watching each other and everyone else. Look for Google Earth to start showing current military resolutions of imagery (classified, but rumored to be able to read license plates), as miltary resolutions increase to the point of reading the labels on your clothing.
From Music to Watch Girls By
“The boys watch the girls while the girls watch the boys who watch the girls go by,
Eye to eye, they solemnly convene to make the scene.”
Your video processing software ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Privacy and anonymity are so…. 20th century.
Jun 02 2009
And Now, For Something Completely Different….
WARNING – HUMOROUS TREATMENT OF ADULT TOPIC: Continue reading “And Now, For Something Completely Different….”
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