Friday night I noticed that two of my favorite TV shows, Life and Numbers, were at the same time. So I decided to watch one, and record the other on a Dish Networks DVR. I live far out on the boonies… so we have a Dish Network satellite system for TV.
I went to the TV/DVR receiver where I was going to record Life, while watching Numbers. I turned it on. It was SUPPOSED to have already been preset to record Life, since I record all episodes, so it’s sort of a global thing in the receiver’s settings. And it was time, and should have been recording.
But it wasn’t tuned to channel 4 and recording. Instead, it was tuned to channel 73, and the show was “Obama’s Plan For America” (paid ad).
I was confused. I knew it was preset to record Life, whenever an episode came on. The DVR has been very reliable and stable. Still scratching my head, I changed the channel to channel 4, and was going to just manually record Life for now. And indeed, the DVR registered the key press, and changed to channel 4… except that it didn’t. It showed the TEXT display for channel 4, but still displayed Obama’s Plan For America. And then the text display switched back to channel 73. Obama was talking about universal healthcare. Maybe he really, really wanted me to hear.
I tried something else. Instead of directly typing in the channel I wanted, I just hit the channel up button. And it switched to channel 84, Wolfgang Puck’s Thanksgiving Feast, except that it didn’t. Only the text display changed, but Obama kept talking about economic crisis. Then the text display switched back to channel 73, Obama’s Plan For America. Obama really, really, really wants me to know what he plans to do about the economy.
This was just too much. So I hit the OFF button on the DVR remote control. Gratifyingly, it turned off, and I enjoyed the snowy screen instead of Obama. For all of, oh, three seconds. Without me touching it or the remote, the DVR turned back on. And Obama was talking about farmers in Iowa or something… or at least he was walking with one. I hit the mute button on the TV, which wasn’t possessed, and Obama shut up, although his lips kept moving. Such a nice picture of him looking determined to do something or other on a train rolling through the midwest.
I decided the DVR needed a hard reset, so I turned it off on the front panel, which is supposed to have a different effect than using the remote to do it. I counted to ten, just like the manual says. Then, I turned it back on.
Obama was taking another long trip through America, with vaguely Coplandesque music (they play lots of that in Chicago, you know), and talking about how he is going to unify America, raise our economy, provide middle class jobs, and, if I heard right, reverse global warming and solve the energy crisis in ten years. (I thought presidents could only hold office for 8 years, but maybe he’s including Michelle’s first term following him.)
I hit the DVR button that shows what shows are scheduled to be recorded, and it said that LIFE was being recorded, just like I wanted. Except that I knew it wasn’t, because Obama was telling about his courtship with Michelle. (I wonder why he didn’t just appoint her as his vice-president? She’s at least as smart as Biden, and probably gaffes less.)
I was beginning to be concerned. Had my DVR gotten permanently stuck on channel 73? Did it download some kind of virus from the satellite? Did Obama pay off the Hughes company to do this? Are Democrat operatives sneaking into my house and messing with my satellite receiver? Or did Obama just see a nice production of Damn Yankees and get some big ideas? (I wonder who’s going to play the role of LOLA? Can Hillary dance?)
OK, I finally took corrective action. It was really pretty simple.
I pulled the plug. Yep, it was really that simple. After a bit, I plugged it in, and mercifully, Obama had stopped talking about how he was going to negotiate with everyone in the known universe. (Except maybe Galactus, of course, who already left.) Hey… do you suppose Obama can surf?
I hope Obama doesn’t pull the plug on US. I’m not sure we’ll all survive a hard reset of the entire nation.
Although I don’t think he thinks he’s doing a reset. I think he thinks he’s doing an upgrade to USA 2.0.
Do you suppose the new version comes with a warranty?
